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Category: Romance EPPIE Award Finalist
Description: They both want what they can't have--each other... Blackie Scarpacchio has had hard lessons kicked in him from birth, leaving him cynical and afraid to trust in love. Lori Gordon has loved Blackie all her life. After one stolen night with him when she was 19, he'd torn her soul in two when he admitted their relationship was based on vows he'd made to her father. Five years later, she's come home to discover that absence has made her heart grow fonder of her dark warrior and vagabond. She still believes their love could be destiny if they both reached out for it. Blackie doesn't know how to deal with his own unresolved feelings for this woman. But when Lori starts receiving threats, his protectiveness thrusts him into constant contact ... and reborn needs that could either heal him or destroy them both.
eBook Publisher: Hard Shell Word Factory, 2000 www.hardshell.com
Hard Shell Word Factory Release Date: February 2004

29 Reader Ratings:

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Available eBook Formats [MultiFormat - What's this?]: eReader (PDB) [200 KB], ePub (EPUB) [210 KB], Rocket/REB1100 (RB) [178 KB], Portable Document Format (PDF) [687 KB], Palm Doc (PDB) [198 KB], Microsoft Reader (LIT) [203 KB], Franklin eBookMan (FUB) [219 KB], hiebook (KML) [475 KB], Sony Reader (LRF) [246 KB], iSilo (PDB) [164 KB], Mobipocket (PRC) [204 KB], OEBFF Format (IMP) [271 KB]
Words: 61000
Reading time: 174-244 min.
Microsoft Reader (LIT) Format: Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud ENABLED
Portable Document Format (PDF) Format:  Printing DISABLED, Read-Aloud DISABLED
All Other formats: Printing DISABLED, Read-aloud DISABLED

"They say save the best for last." It's definitely true in this case. The last was absolutely the best for Karen Wiesner's Gypsy Road series. This book had me choked up and ready to cry far too many times, and I find myself wanting to pick it up and read it again. (Yes, I know it's an e- book, but it's on my Rocket eBook reader so I CAN pick it up. (Bet you were trying to picture me juggling my tower, keyboard and monitor?) I was right when I said that if Jon was that intense of a character, Blackie would be something else. He was phenomenal. Talk about deep issues! And Lori- she wasn't the pure, innocent heroine we normally get (she was a wild teenager); she was actually easier to identify with and feel for. Karen Wiesner writes deep, gritty characters--real people--not the usual "perfect" people, and she does it well. Get this series and enjoy it, guys, and I'd recommend getting disk copies rather than downloads- you want these for your keeper shelf! 5 Stars and Reviewer's Choice Award!!"--Scribes World Reviews

"Vows and the Vagabond is a very tastefully written tale of romance which will have you reaching for the Kleenex box in some places - but you'll love every moment of it! Karen Wiesner presents her fans with a delightful page-turner and when you're done, you'll want to go back to read it again! This one's a definite keeper! 5 Stars!"--Elena Channing, Midnight Scribe Reviews

"Characters so alive they pop out of the page to grab you, a dilemma so delicious it reaches every cavity of your heart: Karen Wiesner, the Queen of sexy romance, has once more written an emotional drama that sizzles with sensuality. Her riveting tale about the healing power of uncompromising love beats all my secret fantasies.--Christine Spindler, author of The Rhythm of Revenge

More asleep than awake, Lori Gordon fumbled for the shrilling phone. She heard her roommate grumble "It's yours." and flop a pillow over her head.

" 'lo?"

"Hey, Princess."

His voice brought Lori awake instantly. Her head, her body, the constant ache that always seemed to reside in her heart no matter how she tried to exorcise it jolted her to consciousness.

Lori sat up, forcing herself to take a deep breath. Calm down; find out what he wants, then hang up! she commanded herself, already sure she wouldn't do any of that.

"It's four o'clock in the morning," she said, and her roommate flopped again.

After sliding out from the warmth of her blanket, she started toward the bathroom.

"Yeah, sorry. I..." His voice brought tears to her eyes as she closed the bathroom door behind her and flipped on the soft light over the medicine cabinet.

"...I just needed to hear your voice."

A part of her had known he'd call. She'd warred with wanting him to and desperately hoping he wouldn't.

Blackie's voice was enough to shatter her resolve. Everything she'd done since she turned nineteen came down to getting over her love for this man. At first she'd tried to tell herself what she felt amounted to a stupid crush. As soon as she started dating, she'd known it was more than that. Every other male she'd met since moving to New York to attend Parsons School of Design failed to make her forget Blackie. In fact, they just made her remember him, long for him and cringe at her own tenacity.

"How was the wedding?" she asked.

Their friends Jon Rushing and Tracey Scott had gotten married today. She knew neither of them understood why she hadn't gone back home to Milwaukee to attend. She could have told them the truth -- that she couldn't bear to see Blackie. Because he'd be sweet and infinitely gentle, treating her in the manner his pet name for her suggested -- like a Princess. She'd fall in love with him all over again, make a fool of herself for the ten thousandth time and then she'd have to start all over again. Every time she went home to visit her father, Blackie somehow seemed to know she was there because he always came.

Blackie made a noncommittal noise in response to her question, something that was as familiar to her as the haunting in his dark eyes, the taste and scent of him....

"Everybody missed you, Princess," he said softly.

You? Did you miss me? God, tell me yes!

Tears filled her throat, and Lori found she couldn't face herself in the mirror over the sink. With a deep breath, she closed the toilet lid, then sat down on it. "I couldn't... I have an interview with Kira Gunn... had." She realized her half-truth, the one she'd fed both Jon and Tracey earlier this week, had become a lie. She'd told them the interview was today. Kira Gunn owned one of the foremost fashion design companies in the industry. She couldn't blow it off. Even re-scheduling could spell missed opportunity for her. Jon and Tracey had offered to postpone their wedding -- they wanted her there that much, but Lori had refused to hear of it. All their plans were made. Postponing would only force her to lie again.

Blackie knew she lied. His silence spoke that eloquently. She did have an interview with Kira Gunn, not today but Monday.

Lori found her head in the state Blackie always left it in -- confused, crazed. Her fingers clenched in her hair.

"Are you alone?" she asked, more self-torture.

The silence that followed told her everything. Of course he wasn't alone. In the six years she'd believed they were a couple, he'd had enough women to populate a continent.

For some stupid reason, she'd not only believed she was the one woman for him but that he'd loved her. God, she'd been a moron. And she was still one because she allowed the thought of the woman in his bed right now to hurt her.

"Why do you do this? Damn you! Why do you call me like--" Like I'm the only one who can rescue you? We both know I'm the one person you won't allow to save you from your loneliness and pain.

"What do you want me to do, Princess?" he asked wearily.

They hadn't had this conversation nearly as many times as his tone suggested, but each time it'd been on the basis of this question. Lori realized now the real question should be what did he want her to do?

"I want you to stop calling me like this. I want you to stay away when I come home."

Saying the words forced a razor-sharp reality at her -- one he wanted spelled out.

"What are you saying?"

She didn't like his tone. She didn't understand it, and that all the more fueled the crazy state of her mind. She'd never understood him. She never would. He wouldn't allow it. She'd always be a baby, a little kid who gave him her heart after he so cruelly tricked her into handing it over.

"I don't want to see you anymore, Blackie. Ever. For any reason."

She hung up and predictably burst into tears. How could she avoid not seeing him? Her father was... well, the closest thing Blackie had to a father. His loyalty to Jerry Gordon would never waver, no matter what.

But if she wanted to have a life, if she wanted to find some happiness, she had to make the only place she ever saw Blackie Scarpacchio her memories.

EVEN after she hung up, Blackie continued to listen to the dial tone like she could change her mind, come back and retract all the harshness.

He turned slightly to look at the framed picture of Lori on his desk. Eighteen, so damn beautiful with that long, strawberry blond hair and those crystal eyes and sweet smile. Eighteen, and she'd been completely infatuated with him.

Guess you can call 'em the good old days now. Kiss 'em goodbye.

He dropped the receiver into the cradle and picked up the picture frame.

"I don't want to see you anymore, Blackie. Ever. For any reason."

She'd finally given him what he deserved and didn't want. Wouldn't accept. How could he? He needed her. She was the one, above anybody else, he couldn't do without... he'd rather die.

He told himself she didn't mean it, but he'd felt it coming for awhile. Especially when she lied about why she couldn't attend Jon and Tracey's wedding. She hadn't wanted to see him. For a long time, he'd noticed she didn't look at him the way she used to. And he didn't like Lori wary -- not of him.

Setting the frame back on the desk, he took a deep breath, then leaned forward with his head in his hands.

Couldn't even pride himself on being less fucked up than his friends. They'd all figured it out. They had their one-and-onlys, their kids and jobs and....

Admit it, that's why you cut outta your best friends' wedding so early. All of 'em are happy, too damn happy -- and, for you, misery loves nothin' but itself. 'Least when they had problems, you were useful.

A chuckle started in his chest, and Blackie tamped it down violently.

Dammit, he thought, rubbing his bare chest like he could rub out the ache behind it. Behind it -- in an organ that he'd be a hell of a lot better off if all it did was keep him alive.

Damn sight easier being heartless. Nobody could touch you then. Nobody could destroy you with a handful of words then.

"...don't want to see you anymore... Ever."

"Next time we might not come back and then what would you do, you little shit?"

He stood, moving around the bed grabbing clothes. Then he bent over the sleeping form sprawled across his bed.

When Blackie touched her shoulder, she turned, peering up at him with one half-open eye.

"Come on. Time to get going," he said, soft yet firm.

After handing her her clothes, he walked over to the open door of his bedroom. He leaned against the frame, watching her to make sure she understood he meant now, not whenever she woke up enough to figure it out.

Pushing her thick red hair back, she sat up holding her clothes against her.

"You need a ride?" he asked.

They'd come here together in his car straight from the wedding reception, as soon as her shift got over.

Red laughed in her throat, as if surprised by his offer. Then she leveled him with a street-wise stare. "I've done this before, lover. I understood from the get-go this was just once."

Without backing away from her stare, Blackie crossed his arms over his chest. She couldn't claim ignorance. He'd been making that clear with all his lovers since he was fourteen. Not much to misconstrue when he laid it out so plainly -- "We dance, no kissing, you leave and we never see each other again. Agreed?" He'd never bothered to wonder why 95% of them agreed.

She looked away first. "It was worth it," Red told him, standing to slip into her uniform. "You're the best I ever had. Maybe I didn't fall in love..." She came over to him with her shoes and purse in hand. "...but it was close."

This time, Blackie glanced away from her, unwilling to acknowledge anything she'd said.

She touched his chin, moving her thumb up and over his lips. When she tried to kiss him, he eased her away with a scolding shake of his head.

"My sad, lonely vagabond," she whispered.

Blackie razed her with his eyeball-to-eyeball stare. "I'm not yours, Red."

For an instant, she seemed hurt, then she shook it off. She knew the rules. She'd played this game probably as many times as he had.

"She's a lucky girl. Your princess. Lori."

Had she overheard him on the phone? How did she know--?

"You said her name... more than once."

Red scooped her coat off the floor. When she straightened she said "Marry her, have a couple kids, if you want. Be happy. God knows it don't happen often enough to turn it down if it ever comes."

As she left his apartment, Blackie laughed to himself. Happy? Hell, more proof she didn't know him at all, to even suggest it. He'd stopped wanting anything good after his parents exorcised him of all optimism in one fell swoop. He hadn't allowed himself to want... but he did anyway sometimes.

One time. One woman. And she was the one he could never have.

Copyright © 1999 by Karen Wiesner