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1
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Primordial Chili
by Tom Gerencer
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Have you ever had one of those days when everything just seems to go … right? Even when it's wrong? "Primordial Chili" is a laugh-out-loud thrill-ride of culinary perfection, taken to cosmic proportions. The planets align, the gods speak, and supper turns out pretty good, too. 1999
Words: 2513 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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132 Reader Ratings:
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2
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Demo Mode
by Tom Gerencer
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In the future, schools will be outdated and we'll all have knowledge grafted straight into our heads. Just make sure they configure the innoculotron correctly, or you might wind up contracting Esperanto by mistake! 2000
Words: 2616 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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141 Reader Ratings:
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3
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Ocean's Eleven
by Tom Gerencer, Mike Resnick
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Why does the ocean roar? You'd roar too, if you had crabs on your bottom. The North Atlantic gets fed up with its position ("There's no advancement") and decides to try a new career. Workplace troubles, disgruntlement, and desk-side medical waste abound in this funny venture from Mike Resnick and Tom Gerencer. 2001
Words: 1851 - Reading Time: 5-7 min.
Category: Fantasy
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123 Reader Ratings:
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4
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Trailer Trash Savior
by Tom Gerencer
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So the millennia have passed, and the time of the reckoning is once more nigh ... not to mention that you've got a busted velvet-Elvis and the oil heat isn't working. Find out what happens when the owner of a mullet and a used AMC Gremlin becomes "the chosen one," and has to battle demons, various and sundry. 1999
Words: 2185 - Reading Time: 6-8 min.
Category: Humor
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58 Reader Ratings:
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5
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Tourist from the Tenth Dimension
by Tom Gerencer
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What do you do when an eight-foot, roughly centipede-shaped creature materializes in the kitchen of your trailer home, where it plans to stay for two weeks of its "tourist-type vacation"? You could take it drinking, for one thing … but watch out for the interstellar pickpockets... 1998
Words: 1481 - Reading Time: 4-5 min.
Category: Science Fiction
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62 Reader Ratings:
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6
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Why I Bring a Bag Lunch Now
by Tom Gerencer
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School lunch, weird teachers, horrifying lunchroom employees and all the terror of a hundred-thousand dreams of showing up for class in nothing but your underwear. Marty Ruckerman and chums find out the horrible secrets lurking in the teacher's lounge at Emerpathy Middle School. [Publisher Note: Also available in the anthology switch.blade: School's Out] 2002
Words: 5050 - Reading Time: 14-20 min.
Category: Humor
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50 Reader Ratings:
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7
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A Taste of Damsel
by Tom Gerencer
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Anyone can slay a dragon. Well, provided they are dragonslayers, which Colson isn't. But even clerks from photocopy shops can have heroic qualities, and even the very, very old can learn new tricks. 2002
Words: 2716 - Reading Time: 7-10 min.
Category: Humor
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52 Reader Ratings:
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8
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Intergalactic Refrigerator Repairmen Seldom Carry Cash
by Tom Gerencer
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A secret vampire? A Celtic Princess? Three mighty dragonslayers with magic helms of gleaming light? Well, no, actually, it's just a funny story and something hideous comes out of an olive jar. Gerencer's first published work is a comic wild ride through the vagaries of kitchen appliances and their care and upkeep. Includes lamb-tongue, malfunctioning arms, and an inordinate amount of chewing gum. 1998
Words: 1870 - Reading Time: 5-7 min.
Category: Science Fiction
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30 Reader Ratings:
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![Very Short [2185 words]](/images/veryshort.gif "Very Short [2185 words]")
![Short [5050 words]](/images/short.gif "Short [5050 words]")
